Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Journey as a Doula begins!

I am getting ready to officially start my journey as a doula. My workshop through toLabor (formally Alace) is not until February but I am meeting my first client tomorrow. She is due in April. I need to attend 6 births as a doula before I can get my certification and I am already on my way! I know that it is going to difficult to be around a pregnant woman and be happy but I know that this is where my journey has to begin. I also know that this first step is never going to be easy so I just have to pick that foot up and know that when I put it down the ground is going to be solid underneath it. Wish me luck for tomorrow my new journey begins!

Monday, November 29, 2010

One little life...

It is amazing to me how my little girl has changed me so much. I know that I have always wanted to be a mom but I had know idea how much love I was going to have for my baby. Aine was only in my life for the 10 months that she spent growing in my belly, but she made me the happiest I have ever been and the most devastated, all with one sweet little life... Aine Rose is my little girl, my angel. She was only 7lbs 5oz but she left a huge imprint on my heart and soul.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Rainbow Baby

After losing our beautiful little girl the desire to have a little one of my own has only grown exponentially! I know that it is difficult for many to understand why after such a devastating loss I would be so anxious to start this journey over again but I found a beautiful quote that says it all. "Rainbow Babies are the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope"~Courtney. I know that nothing will bring my little girl back but I know that I want nothing more than to be a mom. Being a mom is all I have ever wanted, and then I was so close and my dream was ripped away. I want to be a mommy with a happy healthy baby to love and cherish! It has been less then 3 months since I lost my baby girl but I pray everyday that my rainbow baby will become a reality!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Birthday

Today is my birthday and it has come with many new feelings. Bithdays have come and gone and I have never really cared (except for when I was little cause well presents and cake, duh.) but really it has never been anything special. Well today has been such a difficult day. My life and existance seems to mean so much more after having lost my daughter on what should have her birth day. I know that tomorrow will just be another day, and just the start of another year but it is all so fragile. Today is my birthday and I miss my little girl more than anything. Today is my birthday and I am greatful I am here. Today is my BIRTHday so thanks mama for everything. I am a strong women because of you! So thank you for my birthday!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Look What they Gone Done to Birth By Earth Lande

Look what they've gone done to birth
Trying to strip it of everything it's worth
Laughing
Scoffing at the power of Mother Earth
It wasn't broke, it didn't need to be fixed
What they've gone done to birth makes me sick
Hiding behind the disguise of just "wanting to help"
That's like loving a child with the sting of a belt
Givng birth?
That's a woman's bewitching hour
Don't you know?
They fear our power
Looking like a clan hidden behind white masks and draped
Putting on latex
Breathing at his patient mounted for rape
See they're hunters
They go after their prey
Never in a circle kneeling into the position to pray
Saying Shut up
Be quiet
All you live for is to reproduce
I wanna go play golf- this one we'll induce
Hurt? Give her drugs
Oh we don't want her to know she's strong
And if anything bad happens at all?
Blame her
Tell her SHE did something wrong
This one?
Heh, we'll just cut her open
WE KNOW IT'S SO MUCH FASTER
So you question why I call them evil old bastads?
All our days they've labeled us birthing slaves
Telling us our sole worth is only to give birth
And now we don't even know how it works!
Treating us like cattle
Turning MY uterus into a Governmental Battle!
Oh we own all this
You can have that little bit
But if anything inside grows- WE want to own
WE want to control it
They wanna own LIFE
The price
OUR BODIES
OUR BABIES
OUR HUMANITY is a sacrifice
Listen
Giving birth is as NATURAL as it gets
All you have to go is go back to the old testament
When Abraham's granddaughters were giving birth in the red tent
Women with women praying to the Queen of Heaven
Never a woman alone among bad dogs being gnawed at like a bone
I know you're afraid
Because the days of the red tent hath fade
And they've convinced you to be sure
That pregnancy is a disease and they are the cure
Their power is fear
Their objective to teach us or to TRAIN us to HATE IT down here
GIVING BIRTH IS NOT A RACE
There is no first or second place!
It is an emergence to be embraced
It is when your soul and your spirit come face to face
We are perfect every way and in every form
It is in the heart and the womb that a child is born
AND IT IS NOT OKAY EVERY DAY
TO CUT A WOMAN OPEN
TAKE HER BABY OUT
KEEP FROM HER
SAY TO HER
OH DON'T WORRY HONEY
THAT'S WHAT NORMAL BIRTH IS ALL ABOUT
Women from Brazil
To the Nation's Capital Hill have been lied to
Have been tricked
VAGINAL BIRTH IS BROKEN!
They say
The C-Section! It's the fix!
Sisters who run marathons and have climbed the highest
mountain peak
Have been brainwashed into believing they are fragile, they
are weak
Oh we can't do it without drugs! They cry
To do so may cause pain, so why even try?
IT IS UP TO YOU
IT IS UP TO ME
TO SET THE TRUTH OF CHILDBIRTH FREE
It can no longer be held captive or quiet
It is time to insight a Birth Rights Riot.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Why Home Births are worth Considering

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-cheyney/post_812_b_709215.html

Why I have started a Blog

I have decided to start a blog because there is just to much running through my head at all times these days. After I lost my beautiful daughter Aine during delivery on Sept. 7th 2010 my world has turned upside down. Now not only am I dealing with the loss of my daughter and the grieving process but I have been struggling to figure out how to make it so her death is not in vain. I have since decided that I want to educate as many women as possible on natural childbirth and its benefits for the mothers and their babies. So now I am on a new journey to become a doula and a midwife. With all of this change in my life I needed an outlet for my ideas and thoughts so here I am.